Free Kindle The Dance Of Anger CD: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Pattern Of Intimate Relationships ebooks Download

                
              
Free Kindle 
The Dance Of Anger CD: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Pattern Of Intimate Relationships ebooks Download
While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this vivid, engaging and eminently wise work, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating meaningful and lasting change. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle with intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. The Dance of Anger has inspired more "You changed my life" stories from both women and men than perhaps any other bestseller on the American scene today.
Audio CD
Publisher: HarperAudio; Abridged edition (May 11, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060726504
ISBN-13: 978-0060726508
Product Dimensions:  0.2 x 5.2 x 5.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:  4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (463 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #734,305 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)   #75 in Books > Books on CD > Parenting & Families > Interpersonal Relations   #855 in Books > Books on CD > Health, Mind & Body > Personal Growth   #857 in Books > Books on CD > Health, Mind & Body > Self Help
A large number of books on the topic of anger have recently come into my house -- how to recognize anger, what it means, and how to "control" it. This is the only one of these books that I liked. All the other books on this topic seem to treat anger as a loss of control, which should be repressed. In fact, they seem to be about impulse control more than about anger. (I have nothing against people learning to control their impulses, I just don't think that it's the same topic as the topic of anger.) Luckily, I did not pay for any of these books, so I can just be glad I read this one, and forget about the others.In this book, Lerner treats anger as a signal that something is going wrong. She explains that only when we address the "something wrong" in a useful way will the anger go away. Then she explores the "dances" we engage in, in our attempts to make ourselves feel better. She suggests that most of our attempts to make ourselves feel better focus on the person(s) we think made us mad, rather than on ourselves. She compassionately and wisely shows how to disengage from the anger and the counter-productive patterns, while staying connected and acting with integrity. However, she also acknowledges the effect that this sort of change can have on other people in the dance, and she provides guidance in maintaining oneself in the face of countermoves.Fundamentally, this is not the kind of self-help book that provides 10 easy steps to ridding oneself of anger. Instead, it describes a different way to think about anger, and discussion of the ways in wich one can respond to anger. No easy steps, just a way of thinking, which can radically change the way one engages with the world.
I found this book as impossible to put down as any thriller -- it was fascinating even when it didn't directly apply to me. But most of it did.All my life I have had a problem expressing anger. It usually comes out as tears, which does not impress anyone or improve the situation, or else I swallow it and tell myself it's not important. This book has helped me to understand that when I'm angry, it means something is wrong, and I attempt to calmly identify what that is, and take steps to make it better. I'm not expert at this yet, but the book has given me hope that small changes can lead to big improvement over time.All in all, this is a great book for anyone whose anger has ever made them feel ashamed or powerless. Read and reread until your anger works for you, not against you.
I highly recommend this to anyone in a struggling relationship. After 10 years of marriage I could see no way of getting along with my wife. My therapist suggested this book and it just opened up a whole new world for me. My marriage is safe and strong. Don't let the title fool you, this is just as much for men as women, yes I am a guy.....
Two weeks ago, someone handed me this book and said "Please review this - it's really helped my fibromyalgia and my friend's high blood pressure".Though that was not what Harriet Lerner had in mind when she wrote The Dance of Anger, this book should be a manual for women with chronic and auto-immune conditions. In these types of conditions, there is often an emotional component triggered by a situation in which we feel powerless or unable to effectively communicate. Women either through conditioning or habit tend to react with anger or tears of frustration. Nothing is resolved. Harriet Lerner offers an alternative solution.The major point that Harriet Lerner resoundedly drives home is that we will not change the other person, but we can change how we interact with them. We can break this cycle or dance by learning new steps. Thus, The Dance of Anger is about communication. It points out non-effective communication patterns and how to change them to become effective. This book about your mind - can help your health.Dr. Suzanne Lawton
I challenge anyone to say "I have never done that before". We all do these "dances" she speaks of all the time, I don't care if you are a woman or a man. It doesn't have to be a husband/wife relationship either, it happens in all relationships. Her theory is sound and true and can very well help you to end these "dances" (fights/problems) you have with other people. It was *very* enlightening to see what we do actually spelled out for us because so much we do we do without realizing or giving 2nd thought to.Read this book from beginning to end before trying this stuff. Secondly, keep in mind one very important thing...as much as you can change your attitude, others can change theirs and not always in the direction you hope they will. Her methods do work, but you must be prepared in some instances to "let go" of people that cause you strife if you plan to try to change these "dances" with whom ever you do this with. The reason is that maybe you don't want to let go of your mother or your friend or who ever, but they might want to let "you" go because they don't like the change. Now, she tells you that in the book anyway, but just ready yourself for it. I had a few friends that I either let go or they let me go and now I am feeling a little excluded. Sure, there are no more fights or "bad times" but that let go of the good too. I couldn't get an in-between. Mind you, this worked WONDERS with some other people I tried it on and actually solidified the relationships more. Just be prepared that you win some, you lose some...you can't change people to follow this "new" dance if they don't want to and it is always hard to let go.
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